This just in. Giant freshly caught turbot fish leaks setlist for de fuckups’ 17 december crowbar gig at last friday’s highly premature christmas seafood cocktail party

GRONINGEN A giant turbot fish took the stage at what was supposed to be a quiet seafood cocktail party at town hall last friday. The room had just filled with anxiety riddled party people awaiting a sceduled disappearing act by internationally acclaimed magician Red Herring. Surprised, some stunned, they instead witnessed the turbot walking on. Pausing at the microphone stage left, he monotonously announced de fuckups’ work-in-progress setlist. Allthough this was executed without further introduction, and the crowd had innitially agreed to the remark about the lights on these tables for being ‘spot on’, they roared with enthusiasm as soon as he got to ‘Oomph’. A sneaky eel and a red-with-anger lobster later told they had called him a superficial squealer after he had unfolded his plans, regretfully to no avail. The list:

• 1. Lights on these tables are rubbish
• 2. oomph!
• 3. slash/comma,dot•dash-line_ / menno
• 4. glossy lips
• 5. gimme your leg
• 6. something out of the ordinary / our latest jetser of a kneiter
• 7. 75
• 8. tailfeather notice / B.A.G.E.
• 9. letterman
• 10. peacock
• 11. OK not allright / joris
• 12. stuff
• 13. moaning low
• 14. r.d.m.h.
• (15. shame of the company / why john quit)